It's May 16, five and half months into this little venture of mine and I'm feeling a bit discouraged. Even though I know I've made progress (I passed my CPT exam, I'm almost done teaching my second session of CKF through Minneapolis Parks and Rec, I've taught a sample class at Athleta and I've been asked back to teach in June) I'm having a difficult time staying positive. My "job" has become a major source of stress and the hours are totally erratic, making it difficult to settle into a routine for building CKF and my husband is now traveling every single week, leaving all the duties of our family and home to me. Add to that the fact that my carpal tunnel has gotten so bad my fingers are numb most of the time and I don't have time to schedule the surgery, nor does the hubby want to pay for the doctor bill and I'm staring down a future of not having full use of my hands.
Long and short of it, I'm tired. If CKF was built to the point where I hope it will someday be, things would look different right now. I wouldn't have the erratic job, I'd have the flexibility so that shouldering all the duties of family and home wouldn't be so overwhelming, and I'd have enough of my own money to pay for the surgery I need. So what's a ninja to do? The only thing a ninja can do, keep on going, keep working the job so the bills get paid, keep taking caring of my son, dog and house, because nobody else will, and keep on building CKF with whatever free time I have so someday I can get that surgery.
I wish I could say I'm feeling less discouraged, but I'm not. Of course, that might be the chili and tator tots I just ate for dinner.
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